Issued by: The Coercive Health Officer (CHO) in conjunction with The Australian Tyrannical Advisory Group for Immunisation (ATAGI)
It has come to our attention that certain members did not receive our previous memo in relation to the appropriate steps to take upon contracting COVID.
Please note: Now is NOT the time to question the effectiveness of vaccines nor entertain any conspiracy theories regarding whether or not we told you they would prevent transmission/stop the spread.
Try not to think too deeply about the logic behind our advertising campaigns (such as ‘One Millions Reasons to Get Vaccinated’) which suggest that your vaccination is a good deed that will protect the vulnerable around you. It just does, okay? Trust the Science™.
Of course vaccines work. Why else would we force everyone to be injected? To increase confidence, we suggest you repeat the mantra ‘Vaccines are safe and effective’ at least 5 times as you brush your teeth each morning.
Nevertheless, if you do find yourself in the extremely rare* position of having contracted COVID after having been vaccinated or boosted, do not fear. Simply follow these three simple steps:
1. Post a status update on social media advising of your illness.
2. Ensure you downplay any severe symptoms (because you are vaccinated and therefore totally** protected against serious illness) but feel free to fish for some sympathy.
3. Finally, give thanks to the vaccines for their supreme protection and gush that you cannot imagine how much worse it would have been if you had not been vaccinated.***
Please see examples below:
Just remember: It could have been much worse.
* The Scientific™ interpretation of ‘rare’, also meaning ‘common’.
** The Scientific™ interpretation of ‘totally’, also meaning ‘hardly’.
***Failure to perform these three simple steps may result in the Vaccine gods/Science™ punishing you with a more severe case of COVID in the future. You have been warned.
PS: Definitely do not read any of these studies below:
The demonstration of COVID-19 breakthrough infections among fully vaccinated health-care workers (HCW) in Israel, who in turn may transmit this infection to their patients,5 requires a reassessment of compulsory vaccination policies leading to the job dismissal of unvaccinated HCW in the USA. Indeed, there is growing evidence that peak viral titres in the upper airways of the lungs and culturable virus are similar in vaccinated and unvaccinated individuals.
The attack rate among exposed individuals reached 23.3% in patients and 10.3% in staff, with 96.2% vaccination rate among exposed individuals. Moreover, several transmissions probably occurred between two individuals both wearing surgical masks, and in one instance using full PPE, including N-95 mask, face shield, gown and gloves…This nosocomial outbreak exemplifies the high transmissibility of the SARS-CoV-2 Delta variant among twice vaccinated and masked individuals.